Think About It
by Kelley and Shelley
Summary: Someone finds Spike in the alley after Dead Things. Buffy is confronted about her actions. This is what we think NEEDS to happen. Reposted because of stupidity in the summary


Title:  Think About It

Authors: Kelley and Shelley (beanyb1999@hotmail.com)

Rating:  R…just in case

Feedback:  Please send feedback!  Good, bad, and ugly.  We enjoy laughing at flames (well, at least Shelley does).

Distribution:  Tell us if you want it.  We'll probably let you have it.

Summary:  Takes place after "Dead Things."  This is basically what we think should happen between episodes.  Someone finds Spike in the alley by the police station.  Buffy is confronted with her actions.

Disclaimer:  Joss owns all of them.  Xander and Spike will be ours one day.

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Xander walked towards the police station with his hands in his pockets, contradicting the fact that he was alert to anything that could attack him.  He had convinced Anya to stay at home, telling her he would just ask the police a few questions and then come right back.  Walking alone at night through Sunnydale was not his idea of a good time.  He wasn't sure what he was going to ask the police, but he would figure out something.  After all, he didn't want to be completely useless.

He turned to cut through the alley by the police station when something caught his attention.  He took a moment to adjust to his dark surroundings before continuing his walk through the alley, hoping he wouldn't get ambushed.  He pulled out a stake just in case.  

He stopped walked again when he heard a pained groan.  That's when he noticed the signs of a recent struggle.  He saw a figure half-sitting and half-lying against the wall.  The figure slowly raised its head and Xander dropped his stake in shock.

"Spike?"

Adding to his shock, the blonde vampire didn't respond.  

Despite himself, he hazarded another step forward, slowly making his way to the still vampire.

"Spike?  That you?"

Spike looked up at Xander.  "What do you think?"

Xander jumped back at the sight of Spike.  "Jesus H. Christ!  Who did you piss off?"

Spike didn't respond.  He stayed uncharacteristically silent.

Xander crouched down in front of the injured vampire.  Spike was resting his head in one of his hands.  The other hand was on the ground, trying to hold himself up.  

"Go away, whelp," Spike said almost incoherently.

Xander looked Spike up and down, a little worried.

"Can vampires get concussions?" he asked.

Spike let out a painful chuckle.

Xander waved his hands in front of Spike's face.

"Can you even see?"

"Not really," Spike muttered to himself.

Xander sat down and leaned his back against the wall.

"So, what happened to you?  Demon?  Vampire?  Police brutality?"

"Well, I don't think it set my chip off, but I can't really tell.  M'head feels like a truck ran over it."

"It looks like a truck ran over it…or possibly a small bus."

Spike groaned in reply, holding his head in both hands and nearly toppling the short distance back to the ground.

Xander frowned, feeling sorry for the vampire.  He usually smacked that part of his brain, at least until this past summer.  And seeing him beaten to a pulp, he couldn't help but feel bad for him.  He looked worse than Giles had after a few rounds with Angelus.

Spike looked up at Xander and the look of pity on Xander's face disappeared.  If Spike had seen that look, he would never let Xander help him out.

"Sun's gonna be up soon.  We better go.  Think you can stand up?"

Spike started to make a sarcastic remark, but decided to give up on it.  "I don't know," he answered truthfully.  "M'legs are fine, but my brain's a little rattled."

"I guess that answers my concussion question."

Xander stood and offered a hand to Spike.  Spike looked at Xander and reluctantly reached for his hand.  After two misses, he finally grabbed it.  Xander helped him up slowly.  He knew what a concussion felt like.  They were second nature to him.

Slowly but surely, they started making their way out of the alley.  Spike stumbled along as Xander tried to avoid running into anything.

"God, Spike.  You need to lay off the spice buffalo wings."

"Up yours, whelp," Spike grumbled.

"Apparently, that exercise you were doing in your bed isn't helping any."

"You and I both know that I wasn't exercising.  I know you're not as stupid as you look."

"I've got rent paid up for the next month in the Land of Denial.  Don't make me break that lease yet."

Spike attempted to shrug.  "Fair 'nuff."

"So, is the Buffster doing okay?  She doesn't really talk to me that much anymore."

Spike flinched but recovered quickly.  He didn't answer at first, but chose to stare at his Doc Martens instead.

Xander finally sighed.  "That bad, huh?  I wish she'd just talk to us."

"I wish she'd talk to me too."

"But you are sleeping with…"

"Xander.  Denial.  Remember?  Besides, isn't that one sign she's not okay?  I'm an evil, disgusting thing."

"Aww, Spike.  Don't talk like that.  You're our evil, disgusting thing.  At least when you kill us we'll know you cared."

"Very funny, whelp."

"Look on the bright side, fangless.  At least your slayer hasn't tried to strangle you."

That time, Xander knew he felt Spike flinch.

The two lasped into silence.

Spike finally noticed the direction they were heading.

"Hey, where are we going?"

"My apartment."

"What?  Why?"

"We need more than alcohol and cigarettes to patch you up.  Plus, with you there, Anya won't kill me for being out so long.  Or she'll at least wait till you leave."

"Whatever," Spike grumbled.  He didn't care as long as the pain in his head went away.

"Apparently, Buffy had an eventful evening too."

Spike tensed up.  Did the whelp know about what happened?  
  


"Really?  How so?" Spike asked cautiously.

"Yeah.  Demons who messed with him, a big fight, a dead body."

"Oh.  Sounds fun."

"The Sunnydale PD ruled it as a suicide."

"You're kidding, right?" Spike asked.

"And everyone thinks I'm stupid.  How'd she end up in the river anyway?  I didn't even know we had a river.  If I didn't know any better, I'd think it was placed here for convenience."

Spike laughed softly.  "I wouldn't be surprised."

Fortunately, they made it to Xander's apartment before the sun rose.  Unfortunately, he found out Anya was still awake when he opened the door.

"Xander LaVelle Harris!" Anya yelled.  "Where have you been?"

Spike snickered.  "LaVelle?"

Xander glared at Spike.  "Shut up, or I'm throwing you into the sunlight."

"Spike!  What's Spike doing here?"  Anya finally entered the room.  "Oh my god, Spike!  Your face is all swollen and disfigured."

"Really…I hadn't noticed," Spike commented dryly.

Anya went around closing all the curtains and blinds, while Xander led Spike to the couch.  Xander then went to the bathroom for the first-aid kit.  On his way out of the bathroom, Anya gave him a quick kiss.

"I know we have a bleeding Spike in our apartment, but I need to go open the Magic Box."  She smiled impishly.  "Maybe I'll come home for lunch."

Xander smiled back at her.  "Subtly.  Very nice, Anya."

With another quick kiss, Anya was out the door and Xander was alone with Spike.  He set the first-aid kit on the coffee table, then sat on the table himself, facing Spike.

"Funny thing, though.  Buffy went to turn herself in to the police, but then found out who the girl was.  She was Warren's ex-girlfriend, Katrina.  Buffy figured Warren must have had something to do with her getting killed."

Spike shook his head.  "You always hurt the ones you love."  When Spike looked back up, Xander was staring at him intently.

"Why were you at the police station, Spike?"

Spike didn't answer.

"As many demons as there were, and with the time shifts, I didn't think Buffy handled it all by herself.  I also know she didn't dump Katrina's body in the river.  You tried to stop her from turning herself in, didn't you?"

"Yeah," he finally answered softly.

"And she beat the shit out of you for your trouble."

Spike shrugged.  "Pretty much."

"She went to turn herself in, only to find out she's innocent after all.  Then she comes back to the Magic Box and gives us the Spikeless edited for the Scoobies version."

"You are smarter than you look," Spike admitted.

Xander just smiled and shrugged, then handed him some aspirin.  Spike stared at the young man.

"Wait a minute.  You actually believe me?"

Xander just looked at him, not offering an answer.  

"I'm going to get a shower.  You can crash on the couch, if you want."

Spike watched Xander walk off and laid back on the couch.  He covered his eyes with the palms of his hands as he waited for his headache to go away.

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Later that day… 

Buffy walked into the training room, ready to blow off some steam.

"I found Spike in the alley early this morning."

"Aaah!"  Buffy jumped in surprise.  She spun around.  "Xander!  What are you doing here?"

"Just thinking."

"About Spike?" Buffy asked, attempting humor.

Xander wouldn't have it.  "He was beaten to a bloody pulp."

"What did he tell you?" she asked.

"He didn't tell me anything," Xander replied.

"It was probably just a bunch of demons or some muggers," she offered.

"Or a slayer."

"That's ridiculous," Buffy scoffed.

"Is it really?  Spike would at least attempt to fight off muggers and he could pretty easily get rid of demons."

"Maybe it was too much to handle, Xander."

"What was too much to handle?"

Buffy rolled her eyes.  "Why are you interrogating me?"

"Why do you keep lying to me?"

"Why do you care?"

"What's that supposed to mean, Buffy?"

"Why do you care what happens to Spike?"

"Because he loves you, Buffy."

"You know he really doesn't love me.  He can't.  I thought you, of all people, would see that."

"You were able to accept the fact that Angel loved you."

"That's different."

"No it isn't."

"Angel has a soul."

"Well, he's still a vampire, Buffy."

"I'm not talking about this, Xander."  She turned to leave.

"I used to think Angelus was the Master of Cruelty."

Buffy abruptly stopped walking.  "What?"

"Of course, Angelus would have killed him."

Buffy turned around and slowly walked toward Xander. 

"Your idea is much better."

"What are you talking about, Xander?"

"Abuse his love over and over again until he finally either leaves or snaps and decides to get rid of all your pesky friends too."

A loud clap was heard as Buffy's hand made contact with Xander's face.

"Yeah.  This is the way you handle all your problems.  Physical violence.  Don't worry.  I'm used to it."

"How dare you come down on me like this!  You have no right!"

"I have every right, Buffy! I've been helping you since day one…me and Willow both."

"You didn't have to.  That was your choice."

"We didn't have a choice.  You were our friend.  We had to help you.  Where would you be if we hadn't helped you?  You'd have died long ago."

"I did die!  You ripped me out of Heaven so you could have your precious slayer back!"

"We were stupid, and I'm sorry!  I've been sorry since the very beginning! But mostly I'm sorry because of what you've become.  Before you died, you were so worried that you were losing the ability to feel, and now all you ever are is cold."

"You think I like feeling this way?"

"I think you think it's safer.  You have to rejoin the world or you'll never stop feeling empty."

"You don't understand.  There wasn't any fear or pain."

"Life is pain!  And fear and grief and anger!  You seem to have those emotions down pretty well!  It's also joy and happiness and love!  You can't have one without the others.  Life is hard.  You think we don't know that?  We have to make the best of our situations.  Everyone's life sucks.  The difference is how you deal with it.  You don't wanna be the slayer anymore?  Leave!  Find something that makes you happy!  You earned it.  You may have been ripped from Heaven, but you need to stop putting us through Hell!"

"I don't know what do to, Xander!  Everyday is Hell for me!  I come back to this life only to find there is no money, I have to play mom to Dawn, and I have to work a really shitty job and fight demons at the same time!"

"Buffy, that's all part of growing up.  You just assumed that since you're the slayer that sure, you'd have to save the world, but you never thought you'd have to deal with the future.  Now you have someone that depends on you, Buffy and not the slayer.  Did you actually think life outside of slaying was easy?"

"At least you still have your parents!"

Xander stared at Buffy in shock.  "I'm not even going to dignify that with a response.  Sometimes I can't even believe you've known me for six years."

"I can't either.  Where is all this coming from?"

"You're throwing your life away…again.  It's not a perfect life.  Who wants that?  We live on a Hellmouth!  You're a slayer.  You're never going to get Norman Rockwell.  The rest of us are dealing with it.  We fight by your side every day!  We're not chosen.  We weren't given any sacred duty.  We do it to make the world a better place.  That used to be why you fought too.  I may have nearly bit the big one a few times, but I still came back for more just to help you.  Whether you want to admit it or not, you need us.  All of us!  Even Spike!  You can't choose who you fall in love with.  I know that better than most."

"I'm not in love with Spike."

"Sure you aren't."  He grabbed her shoulders and led her to a chair.  "Let me give you some advice.  Get over yourself before you hurt someone else you love.  Think about it."

With that, he turned around, and left Buffy to think alone.  He stopped before walking out and turned his head.  "Buffy, we all love you.  We will always be here for you.  All you have to do is make that choice to ask us…ANY of us…for help.  Have we ever failed you before?"

He let his gaze linger a moment longer before walking back into the shop, closing the door behind him.

*****THE END*****


End file.
